Coma

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Sep 212016
 

When you fall into a coma you are actually touching another dimension. When you fall into a coma you are entering another state of consciousness that is not asleep and not awake but is actually an extra dimensional plane where reality as we know it ceases to exist. The synapse in your brain are still firing and the life processes of biological life are still happening inside of you. But your spirit is somewhere in limbo where you are not conscious and not aware of the physical world around you. This is a realm of angels and the unseen world that people who have been in comas of a certain type can relate to. Similar to dreaming and meditation and psychedelic drug use commas can be a way of transcendence the usual physical life that we all experience as human beings and moving into a different and deeper plane of existence. Scientists and doctors say the commas are your brains way of protecting itself when his it is experienced a trauma you to a virus or a concussion.

Sometimes doctors will induce a synthetic, when they think that the pain that a patient is going through is too much for them to bear and the anxiety and fear of the conscious mind is preventing the healing process. But what they don’t tell you is that when you wake up from a coma some people report having spiritual and metaphysical experiences. The drug that doctors use on you are so powerful that they can induce a dream state and an extra dimensional experience similar to LSD or mushrooms. Waking up from a coma can be like waking up from a dream or from emerging from a psychedelic experience. It is very dangerous to use, therapy because there is a chance that you may not wake up.

People who attempt to induce commas in themselves without proper training and the supervision of a trained professional can find themselves in a lot of danger or not, that will never end or possibly dead. The key to waking up from a coma is to do it gently using coffee or a very simple stimulant in order to bring the person out of the coma state. It is very controversial to think of commas in this way because it is it was adamant . the medical establishment does not want to believe that there is a way of touching the divine and spirituality through a coma. Doctors and scientists do not concern themselves with the spiritual plane and are only interested in data and disease. I had an experience with falling into a coma for three days in which I report many spiritual experiences.

When I was in the, I spoke with angels who told me about past lives that I had to live and about experiences that I could not remember because they were in a past life. They told me about other planes and dimensions outside of our own that we could not see but that existed all around us. I also travel to some of these dimensions via long hallways of light . This is something that a lot of coma suffers will describe the sensation of a hallway and other beings with them. Some people will describe them as monsters or demons but that is only because they are afraid and are not experiencing the como with a real open mind.

They have been conditioned to be afraid of things that they don’t understand and did not go into the, with the right state of mind . I on the other hand induce a coma with my own pharmaceutical drugs that I had procured from a doctor friend of mine. It was a transcendental experience for me and I will never forget the lessons that I learned in the three day coma. But now when I describe it to people they think that I am crazy and they think that I had some brain damage to myself by putting myself under for so long. The long sleep of the Spirit was actually a gift from me and I am forever grateful for the experience that I had with the angels and the tunnels and the other planes of existence . I hope that others will learn about this and pursue similar avenues of experience and journeys and won’t limit themselves to just the world that they can see around them when they are awake .

My Mother

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Sep 212016
 

Have you ever seen Sleeping Beauty have you ever read the book . ? in sleeping beauty she pricked her finger on a spinning wheel after her evil stepmother put an enchantment on it as revenge for not being invited to a grand royal festival. It is essentially the story of being snubbed and taking revenge . in the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty wakes up when a handsome prince kisses her on the lips and his dedication and love wake her up. It may sound crazy but this is exactly what happened to me. I was raised in a very conservative home with very controlling parents who were afraid of the outside world and its power to corrupt their precious little girl. I grew up in a Mennonite household where I was expected to try and be humble and modest and to shun the evil of popular culture sexuality and the world outside of our small community . as part of our chores we would have to mend our own clothes.

\Part of our religion was Justin technology and electronics and anything modern as this was seen as evil and part of the devil’s handiwork and a way to correct our souls. This mean that we had to sew everything by hand either with a needle and thread or with a sewing machine very similar to the ones that Sleeping Beauty used in horror story. There was a spinning wheel and a needle and the yarn and thread would wrap around the needle in order to make larger friend. One day when I was 17 I met a young man’s when I was out in the woods behind our cabin picking berries. He was very handsome I think he was chopping wood at the time and lived in a village a few miles away. We flirted even though I knew it was the wrong thing to do and that my parents would be very upset if they found out. But I couldn’t help it because he was so handsome. When I got home I was very excited but still had a lot of sewing to do and so I pick up my needle and started to sew. When I had been snowing for an hour I began to feel light-headed and collapsed. When I collapse I pricked my finger on my needle. I had contracted a form of meningitis that put me into a coma for a week.

The young man came to where I live and ask about me because I told him my address when we were flirting in the woods. My family was distraught about my sickness and forgot how angry they were that I had spoken to a boy who they had never met. They let him come inside of the house and into the room where I had been sleeping for a week as my body fight off the infection. My first memory coming out of the coma was  seeing his face over mine looking worried and so handsome I open my eyes and he said hello and then he bent over and kissed me. I remember feeling so disoriented so happy and all I can really think about was this handsome prince who came to save me, who had come to wake me up. I remember thinking how much like sleeping beauty my life had become.

My mother was not a queen and my dad was not a king. My modest house was not a castle and there was no note and no dragon. But the feeling of love and relief for having been woken up from a deep sleep by the kiss of someone I’m in love with was so relatable and made me feel like a princess . I never forgot that experience even after we got married and have been married for the last 15 years. We both left the Mennonite community and move to Seattle where we have doctors and medicine for our two baby girls crew I read Sleeping Beauty – at night before they go to sleep and tell them that their mother was the real thing. They look at me strangely and I don’t think they believe me, but it’s true. Dreams really can come true.

Football Can BE Dangerous..

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May 222016
 

Football is a very dangerous sport. I didn’t used to think that when I was younger because when you’re young you think you’re indestructible and that nothing can hurt you even though you are just made of flesh and blood like everybody else. When you’re young you think that nothing is going to last forever including injuries and that your body will just recover whenever there is a trauma. You think this because it is true in a way and when I was younger I was always a very healthy kids who would bounce back very quickly from any sort of injury that I might have. I used to play many sports including basketball and hockey and football. Football was the sport that would eventually break me of this feeling that nothing can really hurt me because I was very hurt during a game of football in high school. I was very athletic and cocky when I was younger and this was because I was very good at sports and was very popular. I had a beautiful girlfriend and a ripped body that I was very proud of and like to show off. I was the captain of my football team in high school and the quarterback and felt very popular because all of the other students at the school look up to me and I was very cocky.

One Friday night in the fourth quarter of a football game against our crosstown rivals I was blindsided by a tackle . I never saw it coming and the tackle or hit me with his helmet directly in the side of my helmet. The helmet crack in half and I had a severe concussion . my brain was so damaged that I fell into a coma in order to save the brain tissue as a form of Defense my body put me under. When I woke up from a coma two weeks have gone by and I was in a hospital dazed and confused and didn’t know where I was or what had happened I couldn’t remember anything about the football game or anything about the day it happened. I had amnesia basic things like walk . and couldn’t do basic things . the doctor told me that I had severe brain damage and that it would take a lot of time for me to relearn basic things like walking talking writing and that I would never play football again. They told me that I had severe brain damage and that part of my brain has gone without oxygen for too long. This scared me so much and part of me wanted to commit suicide because I was so sad.

But eventually I learned how to do all of the basic things that I could before the concussion and the coma. It took a lot of physical therapy and retraining and often times I wanted to quit because it was so hard. I kept thinking about the way my life was before and what a big ego I had and how far I had fallen since that time. Often I wanted to give up but the support of my friends and family is what kept me going and allow me to press on even though I was in so much pain and Austin just wanted to despair. but I didn’t give up and eventually I learned how to accomplish basic tasks for myself. Walking was very hard at first it would take a lot of thought and effort in order to do the most simple movements like putting one foot in front of the other just to walk down the hallway to the bathroom.

Heating was a big struggle. I would drop food all over the place and would make a terrible mess whenever I wanted to eat breakfast or dinner or lunch or just drink some water when I was thirsty. My favorite foods or things that are easy to eat like sandwiches and candy and anything that was right size. Things like spaghetti or salad or even hamburgers or fries were too much for me to handle and I would get ketchup and sauce and things all over my shirt and pants. My girlfriend would come to visit me but eventually she stopped because I couldn’t do any of the things that I used to be able to do when we were together before the concussion. This was very hard but I learned a resiliency inside of myself that I wouldn’t have had if this has never happened to me. I am now independent and able to operate through life on my own without help and I have a beautiful wife and children that I am very grateful for, and would fight to protect. But I will never forget that, and the lessons I learned because of it.

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Head Injury

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May 172016
 

Falling into a coma is a terrible feeling . when I was 11 years old my brother hit me in the head with a bat accidentally. We were playing baseball and I ran behind him while she was swinging . I never saw it coming . I didn’t know it at the time but I was to spend the next three years in a hospital ward for people in comas. I can’t tell you what a relief it was to finally wake up and see my family . I was so scared being alone in the dark.

I would wake up and regain consciousness periodically but I was unable to move and would be grouped with blinding terror at the sensation of being locked in to my body and not being able to communicate with the outside world. Then I would slip back into darkness . when I was asleep I would have terrible dreams. Dragons and monsters would chase me down dark hallways . nothing could be scarier than the feeling of being locked inside of my body unable to communicate with anyone around me . finally one afternoon in February I was able to move and one of the nurses in my ward noticed my eyes blinking. I regain full use of my faculties soon after and made a complete recovery . The doctors were stunned and shocked that I haven’t experienced any brain death. But there were changes to my personality. I became angry easily and they snap at my family and friends for no reason. I began to seek out darkness and night time and shine the light. My voice changed. When I went to sleep I was a joke only interested in sports like baseball football basketball track hockey.

But when I woke up I had no interest in any of these things. My body has become frail and I thought of sports as a stupid waste of time . Then one day my friend Kevin came over with a collection of piano music by Claude Debussy . the sound of the piano woke something inside of me that has been there to this day ever since. Cheering the cascade of notes in my head was a revelation that made me want to do something different with my life and not give up. It broke through the Malays and depression that I have been feeling ever since I woke up from my coma years earlier. this music inspired me to start taking piano lessons from a German piano teacher who lived in my neighborhood. He would come over everyday and sit next to me at the piano in my mother’s house and teach me scales and the basics of piano.

Eventually I got better and better and learn how to play more complex pieces . this was the key to my recovery from my coma. every note that I play and every song that I heard help quiet the demons in my brain. Eventually I was able to start playing concerts . whenever I would get behind the piano I would enter a state of flow and it was as if the music was cleaning my brain and filtering all of the negative thoughts and darkness from my mind as I played. The notes on the page or like a prescription for me and instead of having to take pills or see a therapist I was able to play Beethoven Mozart Debussy ba Vivaldi . these composers became my therapist and were the key to finding peace and resolution of my life after that terrible coma.

When I would play concerts in front of so many people staring back at me dress in tuxedos and gowns instead of being intimidated I would remember what it felt like to be in a coma and to be surrounded by darkness with dragons and monsters chasing me and then I would never have anxiety because how can you be afraid of anything more than the eternal sleep and being locked in your body. I eventually became so good that I toured cross Europe playing vibrant beautiful piano music for a large crowds and audiences who would have thought my technique . without the support of my fans and my family I never would have made it through such the dark. But now I’m grateful for the experiences that I have because they are what made me the musician that I am today and I am proud of that person.

African Bug Bite

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May 132016
 

When I was 30 I contracted a little known disease while I was traveling abroad. Without going in to too much detail, I had been rafting down a river with some friends and when we camped I was bitten by a mosquito. This mosquito was carrying a virus that my body had no protections against. The virus had a terrifying name in the African language of the local but I couldn’t pronounce it.

When we stopped at a campsite for the night and set up our tents I started to feel very sick with a headache and chills and just and aching feeling all over my body. I went to sleep that night with a terrible dream that I was being chased down a narrow hallway with animals chasing me. I didn’t wake up for another five years. It was like waking up from being asleep. One minute you’re asleep and dreaming and the next you start to feel restless and open your eyes.

It was just like that except 5 years had gone by instead of one night. I woke up back in the US, back in Atlanta Georgia where I was living at the time. I had been hooked up to machines and monitors but I was breathing on my own the whole time. When I woke up I was very confused about I where I was and what had happened to me. Then I was very afraid and full of terror because it was like I had been sent to prison for five years and missed so much of my life. After I woke up I had to have my family around me and sign up for counseling. My therapist was an expert in comas and lost time. We did a lot of therapy for five days a week for weeks on end. We would talk and talk and talk for hours about how I was feeling. He gave me exercises to do at home to help me get over my fears.

My biggest fear was of falling asleep. Since that night in Africa I was afraid that whenever I went to sleep there would be a chance that I would never wake up again. Because of this fear i developed terrible insomnia and had terrible trouble falling asleep. Finally after year of therapy with no effect my doctor recommended that I start taking sleeping pills. That did the trick for awhile but when I was asleep the same scary dream of being chased by elephants down a dark hall way would return and I would wake up with a start afraid that the coma was settling back in on me. Finally my friend said that I should go on a spirit journey in the desert with a shaman and that that would cure me of my anxiety and set me free of all my fears. So I went to see the shaman that my friend recommended but I was so nervou. I drove out to the desert outside of Los Angeles where I was living at the time. I drove to a remote house in the middle of nowhere that had a large tree growing in the middle of a desert garden. Large trees are rare, almost never exist, in the desert so this stood out clearly in my mind as unusual.

I opened the gate and walked through the courtyard of desert flowers and bushes until I was at the front door of a hut with little trees planted around the edge of the wall. I knocked on the wooden door of the hut and a small man with animal skins and a very long braid came and met me. He brought me inside and asked me if I wanted some tea in order to help me relax. I said that I did want tea as I was very thirsty from my long drive. He brewed a tea with little flowers on the cup and handed it to me gently. I took it and within a minute of drinking it my head began to swim and I felt reality slipping away from me. I thought I would become afraid but I didn’t. Then the animals came down the hallway and I was not afraid of them either. When I woke up I was cured of my anxiety and was able to sleep normally.

Waking Up

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May 102016
 

Waking up from a coma is a surreal experience. First I recall hearing sounds in the room but not being able to open my eyes or move. My brain slowly emerged from a blackness like walking out of a movie theatre. I could hear the nurses and doctors moving around the room. I heard the clinking sounds of the machines and the beep of the heart monitor. At first I didn’t know and couldn’t comprehend what was happening but I was on a lot of pain killers so I wasn’t worried. Then after a day or two, I’m not sure how long it actually lasted, I started to understand that I was in a hospital. The reality of being locked in my body, conscious, but unable to move or speak sounds terrifying but I was on so many drug that it didn’t bother me.

Then I was able to open my eyes and look around the room. The room was dazzlingly bright because my pupils couldn’t dilate correctly and all the light was coming through without any filter. I kept my eyes closed after that because I was too weak to really do anything else. Finally the nurse in the ward I was staying in noticed that I was waking up and called the doctor and the rest of the staff to come check in on me. This all happened in a matter of seconds.

I remember feeling totally alone and scared. But I couldn’t feel the rest of my body. It was as if I was floating in an ocean the same temperature as my body so that I was unaware of my body and couldn’t imagine what it was like before. After that happens each day I because stronger and stronger and regained as much of the feeling in my body as a normal person. This took a week. My brain was the final component of recovery. Without stimulation and on so many drug for so long, my thought process was very slow and sluggish. It took me many days and nights to start regaining my clear thought process.

As I recovered I was able to start speaking and talking to the nurses and doctors. They told me that I had been in a coma for 10 years. I had been in a car accident when I was 11 years old. My babysitter was driving and was killed instantly. My parents were so heartbroken that they didn’t take me off life support for 10 years. They were very rich so could afford the best treatment for a very long time. I had been kept in a very fancy hospital. But I was now a full grown woman when I had gone to sleep I was a young girl. I had gone through puberty while I was asleep and I didn’t recognize the person in the mirror. In fact my whole life before was so hazy I had trouble recalling any of it. My parents showed me old pictures of myself from before the accident to help me remember. But it didn’t work. I was well taken care of in the hospital.

The nurses kept me well fed and the doctors made sure that I was comfortable. My bed was pink and had a princes on the side. It was very girly and immature but they hadn’t changed it when I got older. What did I care I was asleep? The sad thing is that I missed so much of my life. I missed going to college and high school and the prom and playing sports. When my parent brought me home I was still very frail and skinny from being in bed for so long with no exercise and just the bare amount of food. My muscles had atrophies and my bones were very weak from no movement for so long. I finally recovered and was so grateful for the nurses and my doctors and my parents for not giving up on me and pulling the plug. Without them I would have been taken off life support and wouldn’t be able to write this. I like to read now and take a lot of psychedelic drugs to forget the pain and the anxiety of being asleep for so long without stimulation.